9 mar 2008

Call it tango karma. Last night, The Late Shift. Arrived around 1 AM. The scene was unusually light, maybe 30-40 people, tops, and leader-heavy. Got there with an itch to dance but ended up sitting the whole night. I think perhaps my reputation as a reluctant dancer is biting me in the ass. Also I could be misreading a lot of signs. Correct me if I'm wrong, but when a woman says she's "tired" I always took that to mean that she didn't want to dance right then, at least not with me. Or when I overhear someone turn down a dance invitation from someone else to say she is going to sit for a while, that means she's going to sit for a while, instead of accepting a dance the very next song. In both cases I never press the issue but that almost always ends up with me missing out. Or does it mean I end up not being the one burdening a woman with a charity dance? Whatever it is, the one thing it does mean is that I don't dance. El planchador.

Ah well. If that's one of the unfortunate consequences of my innate tendency to be finicky, so be it. I have tried it the other way--looking to dance when I'm not really moved to, with dancers I don't know or have connection issues with, to music that doesn't speak to me in the moment. Those encounters always left me with a particularly unpleasant resentment.

Maybe not exactly along the same lines, but lately I've also been struck by hearing things along the lines of, "I would like to dance with you, but only when I get better," or when I get a shocked expression when I invite someone. Bottom line, there's really nothing special about my dance, and especially when I'm dancing with someone who I'm still adjusting to (which is almost everybody) my dance is really basic. Think slow dancing at the prom basic. In fact, the only one I can really cut loose with is my regular practice partner A, and even then only under particular circumstances. So generally, I don't think that if anybody is missing out on a dance with me they're missing out on anything that they couldn't easily find elsewhere. But also the implication is that I'm considered something of a doyen in the community, which I certainly don't feel. Granted, I've been involved for longer than a lot of folks (c. 2000) but my level of involvement considering that time has been relatively light. I'm definitely not in the same league as folks like Nora, Homer & Cristina, Julian Miller, Felipe & Rosa, Rina, Marcelo & Romina... the list can go on and on. In Bay Area Tango High School, I'm probably a junior. But still, that shouldn't intimidate the freshmen and sophomores.